On August 1st I was extremely excited. I was a bit anxious getting everything in
order to be on holidays for 2 weeks but I knew it was exactly what I needed
after having what seemed like bad days that turned into bad weeks, months and
now, years. The culmination of which
seemed to be very emphatic over the last 6 months. All I knew was that my best friend had asked
me to be in her wedding and I wanted nothing more for than that to happen. I wanted to take the opportunity to relax in
the comforts of my hometown surrounded by a wide net of supportive friends and
family. We are lake people, a lot of
what we enjoy in life is related to the numerous lakes that surround my
picturesque little town. I really needed
to be out in the boat on the lakes I know with the people I love reminiscing of
times when things weren’t so tough and realizing that it will all soon pass and
life will be positive and promising again and that it is worth fighting
for. Being surrounded by the forest and
lakes growing up is probably what keeps me finding solace on the mountains, in
the ocean and while exploring this amazing province.
Luna and myself up on St. Mark's Summit:
Mitchell came into my life as a foster dog. I had lost my chihuahua, Chilli, in January
of this year and was completely shocked and devastated, as it was completely
unexpected. Chilli passed away under
anaesthetic during his dental extractions.
I had also lost my lab, Lady, at 15 two years ago as well. I found Lady with a chip bag stuck on her
head. It was very traumatic and I still
see flashes of both Chilli and Lady on the days they died quite often. I feel incredibly guilty for that day, for
ever leaving the chips out in the first place, for not being there to save her
and for having her die alone on the floor, struggling to get up and get the bag
off of her head. For Chilli, I regret
not telling him I’d be right back to get him and for not seeing the signs that
he should not have had surgery, signs only found in a necropsy. I logically know these are not my fault but
try telling that to my heart.
My sweet, little Chilli boy:
My dogs have always been there for me through thick and
thin. I’ve had a lot of concussions, 13
that I have been treated for and I often struggle with depression, anxiety,
extreme mood swings, and thoughts of suicide to name a few of the symptoms of post-concussion
syndrome that cumulatively affect me more and more with each blow. You get excruciating headaches, insomnia,
nausea, vertigo, and you seem to be hyper sensitive to all sensory input coming
your way. There isn’t much help out
there for people who have had head injuries.
Most of the help is provided by private clinics that cost an extreme
amount of money to attend and are out of reach for most people. The financial issue is that most people
haven’t been able to work because they are sick/injured and the recoveries are
very lengthy the more concussions you receive.
The recovery is often longer than your eligible sick/injured days
through employment insurance and you are often left with no money coming in
whatsoever and end up going further and further into debt which cyclically
worsens the depression and anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. People generally don’t want to be around you
and it’s hard to keep your friends. Most
people don’t understand but the dogs, they get it and they work to bring me
down to a calm place whenever I need it and they also force me out of the house
multiple times per day. I nearly always
end up enjoying my time outside with them and I truly love them as if they were
my children and am grateful for their existence. That’s why I couldn’t give up on Mitch. When I bring an animal into my life, I mean
it when I tell them that I’ll be there for them no matter what and that they
are safe from anything they were ever running from. We are absolutely a family and seeing that
I’m far away from my own family and closest friends, they are that much more
important to me and to my mental health and well-being.
The kids and I:
After both Lady and Chilli passed away I was really on the
brink of losing it. I do have Luna, a
wolfdog who was more so avoiding me in my grief. I don’t blame her, as she is not a dog she is
truly a wolfdog – always walking the line between the two. She is an amazing protector, affectionate,
and lively but she isn’t like a lab or a chihuahua and that’s fine with me. She is who she is and I love her
unconditionally. I thought that after
Chilli passed the best thing I could do for me and for someone else was to
foster another dog through Dhana Metta Rescue Association. I thought, why not help a dog that really needs
it and that way I wouldn’t be “replacing” Chilli like he would ever even
possibly be able to be replaced in the first place. I have fostered lots of dogs and cats over
the years in various different settings and Chilli was my only “foster
fail”. There was something about
him. I really thought this would be okay
and that I wouldn’t get attached. Heck,
I fostered Holly and she was getting her teeth done the same day as Chilli. Even after Chilli passed away I was able to
give Holly to her new family because I knew that’s what was in the cards for
her. It was what was best for all
parties. I looked on Dhana Metta’s page
to see if there was a dog I thought might be a good fit. Mitchell was the only dog that drew me
in. It was strange, it was like I knew
him when I looked at his eyes. I didn’t
tell Yuana when I contacted her who I thought might be a good fit. I just asked
her to let me foster a dog who really needed some work and having known that
Chilli passed away, she chose an affectionate sweetie who was extremely fearful
and would need patience and consistency, Mitchell. She asked if I could take both Mitchell and
his best friend Natalie but I knew I could only handle one dog at this time. It was decided that Mitchell would come and
stay with me and before you knew it, I was picking him up.
Mitchell on a hot Vancouver day lounging poolside:
Yuana warned me on the first night that I probably shouldn’t
take his leash or harness off as he would probably be hard to catch once he was
let go inside my home. She let me know
all about how fearful he was of people and sounds and just about
everything. When we got home I took the
harness and leash off because I wanted him to find a safe spot for the night
without me imposing on him. I would
worry about catching him in the morning and I knew my place was fortified to
protect Chilli so he was in a safe place.
On our very first night together, Mitchell hopped up on the couch with
me and snuggled right up onto my lap. I
was so happy that he found his safe spot to be perched right on top of me. We were fairly inseparable ever since. Luna, Mitchell and I worked every day to help
conquer his fears. Every day we would do
a little bit more and a little bit more and we were able to walk on busy
streets, he was going up to people for treats and sometimes even a pat on the
head. His separation anxiety was
improving with practice and our bond was growing stronger by the day.
The group I meet with down at one of the local dog parks
were all amazed at his progress in such a short period of time. We are a group of dog owners who randomly
formed a strong friendship and bond, with me being one of the latest
additions. They were instrumental in
helping me through the loss of Chilli who was also a member of our group. Any loss is heavy in our group. No matter who the member is, furry or not so
furry so they lost Chilli too. One day
Yuana got a hold of me telling me that someone was interested in adopting
Mitchell. My heart sank. The group at the dog park had been teasing me
alluding to the fact that I would be adopting Mitch but I was really in denial
and still felt like I was disrespecting Chilli by adopting another dog,
especially another dog that was like him.
When I “made the announcement” that I was adopting Mitchell and let the
group know there were a lot of lovingly sarcastic comments like “Oh, wow! I’m
so surprised” and I told you so’s. It
felt like the only thing to do. This
group consists of some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met in my entire
life. Such selflessness and
supportiveness has never been so aptly displayed to me before. I’m honoured to be part of this group and am
grateful for having the pleasure of knowing them.
Most recently, life has been a bit rough. There are people going through a lot more but
for me, it all just felt very stacked up.
I was on a driving restriction after having had a loss of consciousness
a few months ago and that prevented me from getting out into nature, which is
really my therapy. I couldn’t do my job
properly without being able to drive and was stuck having to do a half-way job
(which makes me queasy just typing) or doing things that really bored me and I
felt like I was purposefully being isolated from my fellow co-workers. It felt like they were trying to get me to
quit because dealing with my medical issues, like a months-long driving
restriction (this time) became arduous, when living with it is so much more
difficult. I know most of this is more
than likely in my head but I’ve never felt more unwanted or useless in my
life. I kept looking toward my vacation
and was really counting down the days.
The day I was to leave on my vacation, I finally found out I would be
able to drive again. At least work would
return to normal and I could have some autonomy again. Most importantly, I could go hiking and
camping again after having missed out on the spring and summer.
The day came and it was time to go back to Ontario and most
importantly, to the wedding! My plan was
to go home to Northern Ontario for the majority of the time and then spend a
few days in Toronto, as I’ve never been there before and then head back home to
Vancouver. I was so excited to see my
friends and family and spend time outdoors.
I couldn’t wait to see all the stars and go swimming at my favorite
lakes. The wedding was the focal
point. Dawn, Kristina and I grew up in a
triangle, Dawn across the street and Kristina and I next door to each
other. We were each born a month apart
and have literally been friends my entire life.
Being in each other’s weddings was something we had thought about for a
very long time and the fact that I have missed that crushes my soul. These women are the sisters I never had
biologically. I’ve never felt like I
have let someone down so much in my entire life.
Dawn and I in kindergarten:
Dawn, Kristina and myself on my last visit home:
I chose my friend who boards dogs and who I work with to
watch Mitchell while I would be away.
Always keeping his best interests in mind and progressions through his
fears, I thought how perfect, she is amazing with dogs and is very capable and
he will probably come back knowing about 5 more tricks and become fluent in 3
languages. I dropped him off at her
place, she came and dropped me off at the airport and I boarded the plane and
off I went. When I landed in Toronto I
texted her saying that I felt so weird without Mitch and how I kept feeling
like I was forgetting him. That’s the
text she got and had to reply to that Mitchell had escaped and had been missing
basically since I departed Vancouver.
The plane was stuck on the tarmac for a really long time
because there wasn’t an available gate for us to unload onto and then there
ended up being a medical emergency which made the wait longer as the passengers
needed to wait for the paramedics to arrive and help the man in distress before
being allowed to deplane. I had found
out as soon as we were allowed to turn on our devices so being stuck in the
plane with no way to do something productive in finding Mitchell caused me to
have a panic attack. The Westjet flight
attendant helped me through my attack, ascertained what the problem was and when
I told her I needed to go home she got the ball rolling. She was the only person I had to speak to
about what happened. She ushered me to
the kiosk where she spoke with another woman who walked me from arrivals to
departures where she spoke with a man who asked for my boarding pass to Thunder
Bay and handed me a ticket to Vancouver.
I was dumbfounded and speechless.
I just asked “pay?” to which he replied that it was on them and that the
flight was leaving in about an hour. I
don’t really remember boarding as a lot of it is blurry but on the plane ride
home I remember the flight attendant gave me a sandwich when I wasn’t able to
pay with anything other than cash. She
just asked me to wait a second and came back with it. That sandwich was the only real fuel I
survived on for the first couple of days looking for Mitchell. There was an Indian woman sitting in one of
the seats next to me who knew limited English so I was helping her communicate,
as best as I could, with the flight attendant and helping her with the air and
lights above. We tried to speak as much
as we could and she knew something serious had happened and saw how
uncomfortable and tired I was so she gestured for me to cuddle up on her and
she rubbed my back as I tried to get some sleep. I really needed to meet this woman on this
specific day of my life. I’m so grateful
for her.
When I arrived in Vancouver, my friend picked me up and
dropped me off at home and I started searching.
I knew that a lot of the people from the animal shelter had already been
out, as well as my friends from the dog park and Yuana from Dhana Metta and
volunteers or people who just happened upon the search party who even brought
search dogs down to the location. I had
called Wendy from the dog park crew from the plane right after I found out that
Mitch was missing. She headed out with
Carol and they both helped out to the point of exhaustion, as did everyone
else. I arrived probably around 2 or 3AM
when the search had just ended for the night and continued to search the area
until I was falling asleep while driving so I decided to go home and get a few
hours rest and get out again the next day.
This whole stretch from August 1st the 8th
was a nightmare and a dream all rolled into one. Yuana knew exactly what she was doing. She really got the word out there that Mitch
was missing and it was through her and the Dhana Metta Rescue Association that
so many people who were originally strangers to me decided to spend their time,
money, and efforts on helping find Mitchell and bringing him home. People printed off hundreds of posters, they
plastered them all over the area and printed more for us to put up wherever we
thought he might have been. People
brought us food. They made sure we had
enough to drink. People shared on social
media that Mitchell was missing, Bif Naked, the VPD, Ann Luu and Darcy from CTV
also shared the story, along with others, and also followed along for updates,
thus sharing further than we ever could have ourselves. It felt impossible even taking a moment to
post on Facebook or Twitter etc.
Everything felt to me like it was a waste of time. I could barely take a moment to have a drink
of water.
People were joining the search party. They would come down to the industrial area
south of Kent and become just as overwhelmed as the rest of us with the sheer
size of just one of the lots down there, not to mention the fact he could be
anywhere. There were so many possible
places for him to hide. All we knew was
where he was seen and where he was seen was where we searched. I really didn’t have any money to get
supplies or anything as I had spent everything on the trip home and have been
trying to catch up after those bouts of being off from work with my head
injuries. Yuana pulled out all the
stops. We had an infrared monocular,
regular monoculars, live traps (that I straight up peed all around), sheers and
snips for the blackberry bushes that cut us all up all over our bodies, and
food and water all because she knew to what to do and what to bring. People dropped off supplies for searching as
well. My friend even offered the $2000
reward for Mitchell’s safe return as did she help out with the cost of the animal
communicator. I would name her if I knew
she would want such a thing but I know she would rather not be named. She also watched Luna when I wasn’t able to
and that helped tremendously on the days she wasn’t able to be out searching
with us. I’m so proud of Luna, she searched to exhaustion as well. She didn’t want to stop looking. She would get thorns in her feet and lift
them up for me to pull them out and would pull to keep going toward where she
smelled him. I’ve never seen a dog do
something so naturally before. I love
her so much and I’m so extraordinarily blessed to be in her life.
We all searched to the point of exhaustion. Personally, I was so tired that sometimes I
would fall asleep while walking. I would
just break down and cry in the middle of an abandoned lot, lay back and just
let it all loose. The feeling of the
tears streaming down my face will not be forgotten, it was like a valve was
open and they freely streamed down my face without the effort of crying after a
while. The issue was hope itself. I was so hopeful that we would find him that
when he wasn’t in a trap or he wasn’t found at the end of the day/night I would
feel so helpless and crushed. Hope was
also the only thing that kept me going, as it certainly wasn’t food, water or
rest. All I knew was that he was alive
and I knew one day I would have to stop looking but I couldn’t imagine that day
being any time soon.
People did exactly what they could; they did ALL they could
possibly do to help. I wish I could name
all of the people who helped. I wish I
could honour them in such a way but there were so many people involved that I
would surely miss someone unintentionally and I would never want to do
that. I can’t believe the effort that
went into this little stray chihuahua from San Bernardino. The little dog that could! My heart has never felt this full.
August 8th came along and this was the hardest
day of all the days. I stayed out on the
tracks until about 5 in the morning the night before and when I finally came
home to sleep I found myself waking up in the morning in the same position I had
laid down in. I just didn’t know where
to look. I felt like for the first time,
there was nothing I could do. Whenever I
felt like this, although it was previously not as strong, Wendy, Carol and
Yuana were there to pick me up. On this
day, Carol got me going again and we decided I should search the my own
neighbourhood since he could very well have made his way over. The dog sitter does not live entirely far
from my home. I managed to get to the
end of my street with Luna, posters in tow, when my phone rang. Now my phone rang a lot over the course of
the week. People called from all over
the lower mainland with tips or just letting me know they were praying for us
or keeping a watchful eye on social media for my boy. I had calls from Ontario and even Washington
State! So I was ready for a new tip when
I heard these words: “Hi, I’m calling from Cambie Animal Hospital…” which led
me to immediately worry and all I could say was “Is…….he alive?” They said YES!!! All I remember is that I said “Oh my God”
about one thousand times and that they asked if I knew where they were located.
When I mentioned that I was an Animal Control Officer and I was there quite
often because this is the very vet that cares for the animals at the shelter
they were just as excited. I hung up the
phone and didn’t know what to do other than keep saying “Oh my God” and telling
strangers “They found my dog!!”. I
called Yuana and Carol and raced to the vet office. I didn’t want to believe it until I saw
him. I logically knew that they would
have scanned his microchip but have also seen very excited people come to the
shelter in the past thinking the dog we had was theirs just to be let down once
they saw it. So logic was out the window
and to me it wasn’t real until I saw him with my own eyes. The red light on the way was not
acknowledging the motorcycle on the sensor so a long line of us were waiting
for at least 10 minutes until someone about 7 cars back ran up and hit the
button. It felt like a cruel joke! I finally turned the corner, parked the car
out front, RAN into the vet office where all I could say was “Mitchell????”,
scurried over to his kennel and saw him and absolutely lost it. I reached over and he tried to get away but
once I had him in my arms and it clicked in that it was me, he lost it as well
and we both just sat there crying and hugging and kissing each other until
Yuana arrived and did the same! He was
so dirty and skinny and had cuts all over his legs and face but he was
okay!
At the vet, they let me know that a man had found him the
night before when he had went out to his shoes in his shoe tree behind his
house. He said the shoes were disturbed
so he went to pick them up but that they had moved again so he thought it was a
rat. When he looked again he saw it was
Mitchell and by the grace of God, Mitchell allowed him to pick him up and bring
him inside. He brought Mitchy to the vet
the very next day and the rest is history.
I’m so thankful to this man. He
was asked if he wanted the reward money that was offered and he replied that he
was happy to have been able to reunite him with his family. That was payment enough. I have to say that I would have done the
same.
So here we are, on page 4 in this Word document!
I started writing this (after already having lost the first draft) and
the beginning of it all seemed to keep moving further back in time. How I ended up with Mitchell. How I ended up in this position in the first
place. I’m sorry for the long letter but
I felt I needed to say it all.
Reunited and it feeeels so good!!!
In closing, I would like to thank everyone who was involved
with Mitchell returning home to me, you really saved two lives. Thank you to the people who donated their
time, money, and supplies; people who prayed or kept us in their thoughts;
people who watched social media for Mitchy and updates; people who felt the
need to do something and acted on it in any and every capacity. Nothing you did was small or
insignificant. Everything mattered to me
and I’m sure to Mitchell as well. I love
you all wholeheartedly and I have never felt more supported and loved in my
life. I am eternally grateful.
Yuana, Wendy, and Carol – you are my sisters and I can’t
imagine having done any of this without you.
We went through extreme highs and lows together. Thank you for the blood, sweat, and
tears. Thank you for your love and
dedication.
