Break-ups for the Optimist

Break-ups are hard for an optimist. Every night I lay in bed, feeling lonely without you and then I drift away to a place where life makes sense again. You are there; you kiss me and tell me you love me. You say everything is going to be alright. The ache in my heart is gone and that faint memory of butterflies and bliss take their rightful place back. There is this haunting feeling in the dream though, its strange, like I’m underwater and I need to surface up to where I belong. Reality right? That’s what is beyond the meniscus I have to painfully break through each morning. I wake up and realize you left all over again. Not only did you leave, you dropped out of my life, telling me you still love me. That’s not fair, personally I think love surpasses all and if you love someone you stay with them and never let them go. With all of that in mind, I’m always thinking you will be coming around the corner with roses in your hands begging for me to be your girl again. Every single day, it hasn’t quit, when will it quit? No one tells you when you fall in love with someone about this part. I can hardly breathe without you, but you’re gone. “When you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part, then all at once you have to say goodbye, wondering could you stay my love, will you wake up by my side, no you cant, cause you’re gone gone gone.” I hate waking up; I could dream forever and be happy with the essence of what you left behind in my heart. My heart breaks everyday because of my optimism of seeing your face behind a knock on the door. The thing is, you are never there. Eventually, I have to figure out how I’m supposed to be without you. Existing alone in this world isn’t easy. We cut out the world in our relationship and now I’m really all alone, no wonder I hold on to you my love. My first love, there will be more but right now it’s only you babe. Everything happens for a reason and it’s how you adapt to it that makes you either fly or flounder.