I just watched "Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer"

Your eyes are dead.
Were you born that way or did the atrocities put forth against you slowly dim the life from your eyes over time?
Does it give you and excuse to kill?
Do I hate you or do I hate the idea of a person without a soul? I think, for the most part, it terrifies me. That look in your eye, that lack of expression, that eternal void I see when I look at you could terrify the strongest of men.
I don't know what to believe. I saw pictures of your father and your grandfather and they both had dead eyes. Your mother, who left you did not. I don't respect her but I certainly don't fear her. Maybe she's smart, maybe she left 3 psychopaths in the dust and never looked back.
I saw glimmers of something in your eyes but it was only when you talked about getting away with lying and about killing men. You say they weren't glory kills but that glimmer fills me with uneasiness and doubt.
You're dead now, none of this really matters. Did you deserve to die? I still can't answer such a thing. Is this because you were a woman? I would flip the switch for a deranged pedophiles' execution, I believe they are wired differently and will never "get better". They aren't like you though, with those dead eyes. Although the ones who kill small children after they do things to them only God can help them overcome in heaven, those guys; their eyes are just as dead as yours. I want to burn them at the stake. I just don't understand why I feel uneasy about your execution. Only God knows the truth and I doubt even He can forgive you, crazy or not. Maybe craziness was your test and you failed it miserably.
Dead eyes are a dead giveaway to run in the opposite direction.

Sam Quote of the Day...I'm a ponderer...ohhhhh yeah...a ponderer!

Humans do not need an improbable time machine

when they are given the gift of a dream every night.

They can visit a loved one they've lost, visit a futuristic land

or roam with the dinosaurs each time they slumber.

Thought I would never be one of "those" people.

LOL! Well well well, thought I would post this video --- kind of hilarious that my cousin and I were being those annoying people parading behind the commentators! Well, nonetheless it is amusing!http://www.nba.com/video/teams/raptors/2010/10/07/RWEB101006MATTJACKWRAP-1433294/

Lovebug

We all know that we need to go through knocks in this life, it's a hell of a ride so of course we need to take them. The good outweighs the bad, but it's the bad stuff we remember and dwell on. I wish I could take a pill and reverse that but until the guys in white lab coats get cracking on that, I'll just have to live with it and get stronger like the rest of the known world, who knows, maybe after they're finished coming up with the cure for cancer and aids they can help my bleeding heart.
I can safely say I am not in love with my ex. I realize now how wrong he was for me, how little potential I had with my own life when I was with him, and that no matter what my idealistic nature told me...it was going nowhere, and fast.
The dagger to the heart, so to speak, is the things I miss. I just spent 2 days with some of the people I miss everyday I'm not with them. His family, why do they have to be so great. They found out I wasn't able to go home for Christmas and asked me to come spend it with them. Everyone said, "Well hey, won't that be awkward?" but the answer was OMG not at all! I love them, they really are like family. If HE was there it would've been awkward, because he has completely written me out of his life like I did something wrong when he is the one who crushed my heart to begin with. No tact, none at all. I wish he would've just changed but I don't think men really do change, they just find someone that will put up with them.
I think I was blessed and cursed with the ability to love someone with every part of me, right down to the molecules. It's amazing when you're in it, but it's also really scary...you know there is always the chance of losing in it and you put all your efforts into avoiding that at all costs. This is pretty detrimental to self-identity because it goes to the wayside when trying to please someone else whom you love. Then when that love is torn away from you so abruptly, it's really taxing to a) pick yourself up off the floor and stand on your own two feet, b) find who you are again because you seemed to have lost yourself somewhere in all the chaos of love, and c) learn to let go. C was the hardest, I don't love him anymore but he still has the power to break my heart. Small things, seeing pictures with his girlfriend that he brought back home for Christmas when last year he didn't even ask me to fly with him even though we were going to the same damn town in the middle of nowhere; also seeing more pictures out at the club when he refused to ever come have fun with me at the club or anywhere else to begin with. It just hurts to feel like you're not good enough for someone who didn't even deserve you to begin with. I don't think that will ever change, it's been 6 months and it still hurts. I know I deserve better and I'm finally ready to go there. Hallelujah.

Whitney Whitney Whitney the fairest of them all <3

WHITNEY!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wAN3p7U5dk

OK

So I Will Always Love You is a classic. Perhaps the best love song. I just have to say, I remember when Whitney was on the Grammy's performing it, she wore a white dress, walked down these stairs...I really remember it, that's how great it was. I'm so lucky that I was 10/11 ish because in my memory it was perfect, she looked like a princess in the dress, she sounded like no other human being on the planet, because lets face it--no one can do Whitney, unfortunately not even Whitney (as of right now anyways--it's only the beginning of her comeback!). I cried from a song, that was the first time music brought me to tears, probably the first time I felt the tingles you get from an amazing voice. The Bodyguard was my first CD...well I got that and Aladdin at the same time LOL. I remember thinking she was like an angel. Who knows, has anyone ever checked for wings? Her voice just seems impossible. Anyways that link is for one of the best live performances of the song, in Chile...God was she feelin it. SHE CAN WAIL!
Ahhh nostalgia =D

And here is the Grammy performance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vld0ZpGHvPU&feature=related

Starting Fresh

You know what? I've been blessed in life.
I was given a chance to start from scratch and I am so much stronger than I've ever been.
Sometimes something you initially look at as a complete curse ends up giving your life a much needed make-over. I get that term, zest for life.
Nothing like being OVER it to gain a little perspective on life. You have to move forward in this life, we have SUCH a short time living it...
Go jump on your bed now, no sleeping on it, fun is to be had today.
PEACE hos & bros

Wrote a little song about it...wanna hear it?

I love you like a cream puff
A tasty treat, can't get enough
You're yummy like marshmallow peeps
But not the kind from Halloween
You know the ones from Christmas time
That seem to make me sing and rhyme
I love you more than licorice
But surely red, black makes me sick
The reds just like a candy heart
They're small and cute, a piece of art
Which brings me back to you my love
You're meant for me like hand to glove.